There ought to be a special place in hell, reserved for married men who pretend to be single just because they want to have an affair with young single ladies.
I’m not talking about married men who are into a “friendship” with “vaginapreneurs”(By vaginapreneurs, I mean young ladies who delibrately set out/agree to be sidechics to married men. At least they know what they are getting into and I’m quite sure they have their reasons. I mean for most of them its a purely business transaction. No feelings or emotions invested. E si yii o kan mi. Its none of my business.Its not my Vijay and he ain’t my husband. Lol). I’m talking about married bachelors who go about making edible cateers(side chics) out of unsuspecting ladies. The hottest part of hell ought to be reserved for guys like that. Yes, I said it. I’m in the gym. Oya comman beat me.

The last thing I ever imagined I’d be in my life was a side chic.

But I was. For quite a period of time infact.

Lemme tell you about my experience with one particular guy who had me playing the role of “Edible cateering” without my knowledge. Let’s call him Mr.J.

From the moment Mr.J and I first met, we immediately clicked. There was this instant connection. We would laugh and joke on the phone for hours. He was my number1 cheerleader. So supportive and respectful. In short, he was the “perfect gentleman”. I was attracted to his mind, personality and character.
Did I also mention that he was one hell of a fine man? Well, he was.

I thought, this is it. He’s the one.

We dated for a couple of months and it was all lovey dovey. No unneccessary fights or arguments. Of course I was in love. I thought I was in a relationship with someone who loved me as much as I did him. Little did I know that my beloved Mr.J had a pregnant wife and twin daughters somewhere in Akure.

I know some self-righteous hypocritical people will screw up their faces (like person wey wan shit) and ask if its possible not to know a man is married. Or worse still, they’ll be like you ought to have investigated him. Yea right,bla bla bla. The truth is that at one point in our lives, we must all fall mugu.

I know its easier said than done to cut off someone you have invested in or have feelings for, especially when you begin to consider the time,efforts, emotions and finances spent on building a relationship that never ought to have been in the first place. You begin to cuss out in your mind all those friends and cousins of his that you’ve met who gave you the “our wifey package”. It becomes even more painful when you remember how many times hot oil splashed on your body whilst you were sweating it out in the kitchen just to prove to him and his friends that your wife materialness is 100% on fleek.

Sisterly, I know how difficult it is to let go. Especially when the guy, having realized he’s been busted begins to spin tales about how you are the one he loves and how he is planning to leave his wife and marry.(Taar.Leave the lies for Lie Mo ahmed….we no dey drink zobo). I have been there, done that and gotten hurt. We usually don’t plan this, but then shit happens. The more hurt you are, the more you think you are in love with them. Do not be a victim!!! Stand up, dust your ass and walk!!! God wants only the best for us and the best is yet to come.

Dear “Onku man cannor live by egusi alone,he needs to sample chinese rice and ofada stew too”, keep doing simple random sampling with unsuspecting ladies. One day, monkey go go market, e no go go come back. One day soon,you go buy market for craze woman hand. It is then that you’ll know that of a truth,hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Ngwanu, contunu o. Your clear go soon eye.