Shurlar's Diary

YOUR FRIEND’S ENEMY IS NOT NECCESSARILY YOUR ENEMY

My friend’s enemy is not my enemy until so proven. Don’t expect me to prove my loyalty to you as a friend by inheriting your enemies. Because, I will fail cha cha.

Why should I become enemies with someone who hasn’t done anything to offend me, just because my friend hates the person?

Aswear, I don’t understand the rationale behind it. So just because my friend hates this person, make me self follow hate am. As per my name na follow follow abi?

Feel free to cloak your bitterness or should I call it stupidity under the guise of loyalty or any other adjective you like, but hating on someone just because your friend does is all shades of wrong. In fact, as far as I am concerned, I think its herds mentality. Olorun gbo. Abi, when you are not a cow that must go in the same direction with other the cows, according to the herdsmen’s directions.

Asides from being all shades of wrong, inheriting your friend’s enemy is also all shades of stupid. There is a very thin line between loyalty, solidarity and stupidity. And if you are not careful, you might just be setting yourself up for an epic fall.

This is one very bitter lesson I learnt during my undergraduate days. One of my girlfriends, B and a coursemate of mine, were involved in some sort of unhealthy rivalry and competition over some handsome two-timing dude, who was playing the both of them. Things became heated when they both realized they were both sharing the same boyfriend and all.

It wasn’t my business in any way, but I went out of my way to be really spiteful and hateful to my coursemate all in the name of defending my friend. I would cuss her out and say insulting stuff like “Gboko gboko. Boyfriend snatcher”. Back then, if you had asked, I would have said I was just being a loyal friend.

C’mon. I can’t just sit and watch that stupid that senseless girl snatch B’s boyfriend. We must show her pepper’ I’d have said.

As luck would have it, the two girls received sense and did normal when they found out that the dude was a monumental player, a community penis and they decided to call a truce. Afterall, the reason for the enmity wasn’t even worth the stress.

I felt really stupid when I saw them gisting with themselves, hanging out together and even though my friend tried to carry me along, I couldn’t quite look my coursemate in the eye. There are still very close friends till date, whilst me and my coursemate are barely even civil to each other.

Since then, I made up my mind not to be stupid ever again all in the name of being loyal. There are other ways to prove I’m a loyal friend without inheriting my friend’s enemies.

And if you -as my friend feel that I must hate every one you’ve had a falling out with, then I’m sorry. I don’t know how to say this any nicely, but you must be mad if you think I’ll hate someone who has done me no harm or hurt.

If I quarrel with my friends, please don’t join… I might be angry, jealous, bitter or biased.

I find it funny when I hear people say things like ” I dont like so and so person. Why? Because, I heard, I read, they said”….

Recently, I had a falling out with a male friend of mine and we had a very heated argument. At a point, dude went all personal and began to insult me. I got so pissed and I lashed out at him, insulting him with all the stuff he told me in confidence. It was bloody. I kept on going on and on. You know how Ceec of Big Brother Naija(I’m a huge fan of hers by the way) kept going at Tobi during her last epic rant, that was exactly how I ranted. Chaai! I feel so ashamed of my outburst whenever I remember the incident.

A friend of his who wasn’t present when the incident happened heard about the fracas and decided to be stupid. He called me and began to spew all sorts of insults, to the extent of threatening me with bodily harm.

After a couple of days when my anger had subsided, I realized I was wrong so I called him up to apologize. He also apologized for going all personal on me and we’ve settled our differences.

But Mr. ERIC (his friend the fighter) cannot look me in the eye. I laughed in Swahili this evening when my friend told me that he didn’t send him to insult me o. In my mind, I’m like ntooor😛😛😛😛 Agborodun isssa naughty boy.

Nansanse and Stupidity.

 

Photo Credit📷: Pin interest finds.

P.S. Guess whose birthday month it is? Mine!!!🙋🙋🙋 Y’all should start preparing my birthday gift o. I need an assurance from Y’all.

 

Yours Truly,

 

 

 

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3 Comments

  1. Yvonne says:

    Some call it Solidarity.

    I’m like what kind of dirty solidarity is that? You expect me to become enemies with someone I’ve never had an encounter with all in the name of solidarity?
    Kolewerk.

    1. Wura says:

      Solidarity khoor. Stupidity ni

  2. Bimbo says:

    People can be really funny.
    I had a quarell with a very close friend of mine about this issue just this week. She and a friend of hers are no longer on speaking terms, and she expects me to do the same. Babe, this girl has

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