Choices

 

Below is a conversation I had with some male acquaintances/ colleagues about choices. I wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation at first, as I was busy doing what I know how to do best when I’m out waiting for someone – press my phone, that is.👇👇

Male 1: Na so dem dey do. All these girls. No one wants to stick with a struggling guy these days, even if he has prospects. Na rich guys dem dey fine up and down.

Male 2: They are all gold diggers. The one wey even dey vex me pass be say dem no dey hide am again. Before, dem dey code am. But now ehn, all these gehs go tell you O ha, say dem no fit date or marry broke guys.

Male 3: E go soon clear for their eye. When dey don dey enter demurage, dem go con dey yarn say dem no see husband. ‘Men are scum’. Meanwhile, na dem use all their high and mighty criteria take pursue all dem suitors finish. (Hiss)** Stupid girls!

Male 2: Dah wan good sef. If dem no go jam person wey go use dem do rituals for where dem dey find rich man up and dan. Wuna no dey see all dose gory pictures wey full for social media wey dem kill, comot their body parts, con dump for roadside?

Male 1: I dey tell you.
Dah one even better. Atleast, na pie dem pie dose gehs. What of the ones wey e be say dem no kill, but dey don use their destiny. Any guy wey shag dem lai dis, na so so bad luck go dey follow am.

Male 3: Na true o. Dem go juss use their greediness take Koba innocent guys for street.

Male 2: Na why I no dey pity all these celebrities wey shout say dem be victims of domestic violence. No be dem dey find rich man to marry? Dem don con see rich man finish, dem no fit cope, dem go con dey cry say their husband dey beat dem. Na me send you to go marry rich man?

Male 1: You no notice say all these stories wey we dey hear about domestic violence, na rich man dey dey involved? The guys dem sabi say as long as the money dey flow, e no get anywhere wey the woman dey go. And even if the woman tire for the beatings run comot, dem go fit replace am sharpaly. Na why dem dey treat dem anyhow.

Male 3: No mind dem. I can’t date a broke guy, I can’t marry a broke guy. Yen, yen, yen.

At this point, I couldn’t help it again. I burst out laughing loudly.

Male 1: Why dis one dey laff?

Me: (Still laughing) Wait fess, as you are that you are broke like this, do you like yourself? Can you marry yourself?

***Silence****

Me: Let me even ask you guys a question. Which kain woman wuna go like marry?

Male 2: Ha! The girl gatz yellow, tall, slim, beautiful, educated and loyal, wey go accept me for who I am.

Me: Really?

Male 2: Yes o. And she must be very humble and submissive. Not all these arrogant “children of Chimamanda”(I think he meant feminists) wey full everywhere.

Me: Hmmm! You, nko? (Male 1)

Male 1: I like thick curvy girls o. With big breasts and heavy backside. I like my woman to have some flesh on her, so I go see wetin to hold. No be the one wey I go hug my girl e go be like say na skeleton I dey hold because na so so bone full everywhere. In fact, the bigger the better.

She also has to be beautiful, smart, domesticated and fun-loving.

Me: Ehn ehn! Oya bros, let me hear your own. (Male 3)

Male 3: Not only must she be beautiful and smart, she must have a steady source of income and be hardworking. I don’t want a liability that will come and add to my burden. She must also have a mind of her own. I don’t want a yes girl.
I don’t mind if she can’t cook or isn’t domesticated. If she isn’t, we will both contribute and get a maid.

Me: (smiling triumphantly) You see!

So you guys have your own standards and choices of what qualities you’d prefer in your potential partners, and you are out here criticizing another person’s choice. Do y’all not see the irony in it? Or wait, is it because they are girls?

Male 1: Ha ha! Aunty feminist! You don carry your feminist talk enter inside this matter. Which wan be is it because they are girls?

Me: This is not about bringing feminist talk into anything. Let’s analyze it critically.

(Facing Male 1) You want a thick curvy girl with big boobs and ass who is beautiful, smart, domesticated and submissive. (To Male 3) You want a hardworking and beautiful wife who will contribute to the upkeep of the family. (Pointing at Male 2) Whilst you want a slim, tall and beautiful lady abi? Now, these are your choices, and you have the right of it. No one is begrudging you of your right to make those choices. 

The girls you are out here criticizing and bashing also have a right to make their own choices of what qualities they prefer their potential partners. They choose to go for a man with deep pockets. Where is the crime in that? Good or bad, that is their choice.

So, what exactly is the problem? Why are you bashing them? Or is it paining you because you are broke?

Male 2: Which kain yeye ‘choices’ as you tag am, be dah wan?

So being rich is a criteria for the choice of a husband? That is the problem with this our generation. We neglect core values and settle for material things. This is why the rate of divorce is on the increase. We’ll be here to tell you sorry when your rich husband starts beating you.

Me: Like seriously?

Is it only rich men who batter their wives? So poor men do not batter their wives? It is only rich people who get divorced abi? I never knew the key to a happy marriage is poverty o.

Male 1: Abeg make wuna free Ykayy o. No be woman she be? Definitely, she must support them nah.

 

🎀

 

I swear, hypocrisy must be a Nigerian. It’s funny how people exercise their right to have choices but go about criticizing other people’s right to make their own choices.

A man says he wants a beautiful, smart, light-skinned, curvy, hardworking lady with huge boobs and big ass. No one questions his choices. Because after all, it is his life and he has a right to decide what qualities he wants when choosing his life partner.

Why then do people go about criticizing a ladies choice, labelling her a gold digger when she says she cannot marry a poor man?

I totally agree that not all that glitters is gold. But, hold up a bit.

Is poverty a virtue to be aspired to?  I mean, I just don’t understand our society’s penchant for romanticizing poverty. There is absolutely nothing cute or desirable about poverty.

It’s like most of you don’t even know what poverty is. To have your kids sent away from school because of your inability to pay their fees or to have your kids hawking on the street, because you need all hands on deck if your family must eat 2 square meals? Haven’t you heard that Nigeria is the new headquarters of poverty? So you expect me to marry a poor man and start wallowing in poverty?

As I am like this that poverty is worrying me, I don’t like it. If I were a guy, I won’t marry me either.

Onku, if a girls says she cannot marry a poor man, leave her alone with her choice. It is her decision to make. Quit the sermons. It is getting tiresome.

Not all ladies who say they cannot marry a broke guys are gold diggers. Some of them are goal-diggers who are out there working hard and getting it on their own. All they ask is that the man have his end tied down. Is that too much to ask?

And as to those usual arguments against marrying rich men as seen in the conversation above, they are outdated.

Not all rich men are ritualists. Not all of maltreat their. There are good and bad men and their financial status is not an indication of how good or bad they are.

I just remembered this conversation andthought to share it on the blog. We all need to do away with hypocrisy and have a better perception about life.

I know it hurts to be rejected by a love interest simply because of your financial status, but that’s life. Everybody must not want what you want or dance to your rhythm. Shoe get size. Look for the one who wants the same things as you and leave the preaching for preachers. Shikena.

**drops mic🎤**

Photo📷 Culled from: Pininterest

Xoxo,